The World Famous Frawley Castle Website
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The WFFCW was created August 5, 2001 :: we're 15 YEARS OLD!
WHAT IS THIS WEBSITE ABOUT? Some of this is a personal website containing REBUTTAL, REPLY, and COMMENT to (primarily) public statements and accusations made by various self proclaimed "internet dog training experts". The majority of the statements and accusations are FALSE, and refer to me, personally. The nucleus of this website is based on verbatim quotes of public messages, most of which are archived with their respective lists. Unless noted, nothing has been altered, other than formatting line length to screen width and changing the font style. Other parts of this site contain OPINIONS, HUMOR, PARODY, COMEDY, and SARCASM which reflect my own personal sense of humor and viewpoints. The First Amendment of the Constitution adequately, particularly, and specifically provides these rights. This site is for educational and entertainment purposes. This is emphatically not a "hate" site. There is no hate, and never was. Profanity is kept to a minimum, but it does exist. If this website seems offensive to you, in any way, please leave now. Please do not subject yourself to being offended.
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Frawley Meets The Mafia
warning! excessive profanity used as humor on this page
please do not read this page if profanity offends you
NOTE: nothing on this page is real - it was created only as comedy and humor
originally created several years ago, this page was hidden
this page is based on the famous movie - Goodfellas
HYSTERICAL! Laugh with Richard Pryor about the mafia! Full screen it!
AWESOME! Goodfellas Billy Batts clip! Full screen it!
(if the videos don't start immediately, just wait a minute or two)
More Goodfellas clips at this link
Years ago, Eddie "Bad Dog" Frawley had some connections. But he was doing things that had the big guys concerned. He was stepping over the line, pushing his luck, and his name came up too often. The whole mess started with those video tapes and all the dogs. Eddie was getting a reputation.
Back in Brooklyn and Queens, the Gambino and Genovese mobs heard the stories. Eddie's name was all over New York. It wasn't good for business.
One day, in August 2001, Tony Salami's crew decided to pay Eddie a visit. Tony's family is famous in the Mafia. His father, Tommy Salami, Senior, was one of the five big New York bosses in the old days. Tony's older brother, Tommy Salami, Junior, was still in max at Lewisburg, doing three stacked lifes on murder one and RICO raps. He wasn't going anywhere for a couple hundred years. Tony and the crew had to handle it.
Tommy Salami, Senior and his original crew, in the old days, with the bulletproof limo
Eddie was selling videos in Tony's territory, so they had to have a sit-down, and talk a little business with Eddie. The word came straight down from the boss. They had to make Eddie an offer he couldn't refuse.
Everybody has heard about these guys on TV or the newspapers. The Salami crew - Nickie "The Bat" Lofrano, Frankie and Paoli Cannoli, Benny "The Singer" LaManna, Richie "The Rope" Garafelli, Freddie Spaghetti, Carmine "The Jolt" Ruggiero, plus Tony, Mikey, and Vinnie Salami. The Salami crew had 547 unsolved hits between them. That's an average of 54.7 bodies each. Murder, Inc. had nothing on these guys.
The heat was on in New York, the Feds had bugs and wires everyplace, everybody was under investigation. Surveillance around the clock. So the crew figured a nice quiet vacation out at Eddie's place was in order. Like a fishing trip in Miami, but safer. Probably a good place to dump bodies, too. Not too much action in Menomonie, Wisconsin.
They loaded up the Lincolns, rolled out, and headed west. They had a few stops to make - a real important one in Pittsburgh. It was business.
The crew showed up at Eddie's on Monday, about suppertime. Tony got out first: "Eddie, ya fuckin kid! Howzitgoin? Howyadoin? C'mere ya fuckin kid! Gimme a fuckin hug! Wazza'matta you don't hug me? Il gatto ha ottenuto la vostra linguetta?"
Tony hugged Eddie while the rest of the crew got out, stretched their legs, and put most of the big hardware in the car trunks.
"Eddie? Who's in the fuckin house? Some old bag lady in there? Some fuckin kids? Vinnie, get over here. Give Eddie $15 grand. Here, Eddie, take this. Nickie? They got a Hyatt in Madison? OK - good. Paoli, you call Vito over at the Hyatt - tell'm we take the whole top floor - all the penthouse suites."
"Eddie, my name's Frankie Avaloni, ya got that? Frankie Avaloni. C'mon, we goin in the house. Me'n you. You gonna introduce me, Eddie. You gonna introduce me as Frankie Avaloni. I want that fuckin house empty, Eddie. You gonna send everybody over to Madison. Give'm the cash - they gonna have a great fuckin time at the Hyatt. They don't need to pack nothin, Eddie. Just get em outa here quick. Tell'm they buy new clothes, anything they want. They swim in the fuckin pool, go shopping, watch TV, play fuckin ping pong. You say anything wrong, Eddie, I put this fuckin ice pick right through your fuckin head, ya unnerstan? Right through your fuckin head. Tell'm we workin - everybody goin for a vacation while we workin, Eddie. Tell her maybe she come back on fuckin Thursday, maybe Sunday. We call her, let her know."
The crew waited while Tony and Eddie sent everybody off for a vacation.
"Richie, Carmine - go check the fuckin house, huh?"
"It's clean, Tony - we checked. Just a fuckin dog with some wheels in his head."
"Eddie, ya fuckin kid! The guys. I think the guys, they're hungry. Whattaya got to eat? You got veal? Pasta? Maybe I make you a beautiful Spezzatino di Vitello con Piselli? Huh? You like that, Eddie?"
"Frankie, Benny, Nickie - you guys gonna go down, get some food. Go find that butcher shop, Alfonso Andrassi got a good shop down there. Tell'm Tony Salami's in town, he take care of everything. I'm gonna cook for everybody. Eddie, ya fuckin kid! I'm gonna make your Last Supper! You want your Last Supper, Eddie? Hahahahahahahaha! Bat! Rope! Hahahahahahahaha! Ya see his fuckin face? Ya killin me, kid! Ya fuckin killin me! Hahahahahahahaha!"
"Eddie - c'mere. You like a little Gennuchio, maybe some Pomanachi, Eddie? Huh? Fresh Cippola? I sprinkle a little Struzzi on it? Buone Spezie Italiane! I'm gonna make you some Pomodori dell'Aglio - you gonna love it - we gonna teach you how to eat good, Eddie! Hahahahahahahaha! Ya fuckin kid! Sapore troppo buon per le parole! Hahahahahahahaha! Your Last fuckin Supper, Eddie! Hahahahahahahaha!"
"C'mere, ya fuckin kid! Go get me some pans, some bowls. Wash them pans good, Eddie - make'm sparkle. I like cookin with clean pans. Get me 28 plates'n get the silver - just put the whole fuckin drawer on the fuckin table and wash all that stuff. Ya got napkins? We gotta have fuckin napkins. Go wash'n iron 20 napkins. Hey! Ya don't know nothin about settin a fuckin table, Eddie? You never had dinner, Eddie? Whattayado? Eat fuckin McDonald's every day? Ya got knives? Ya got a meat cleaver, Eddie? Hahahahahahahaha!"
The guys went out, got the food, came back, and Tony Salami cooked up a big beautiful dinner - enough for three crews. "Ya like a little vino, Eddie? Huh, ya fuckin kid! We got some nice red - whatta we got here, Carmine? Fuckin Giornio Roselli - it's the good stuff, Eddie, the best! Here, have a glass. Looks like blood, don't it? Looks just like blood! Hahahahahahahaha! You guys, lookit his fuckin face! Hahahahahahahaha! Ya fuckin kid, Eddie! Drink up."
Tony got serious. "Eddie, we gotta talk a little business. The big boss ain't happy, Eddie. We gonna work this out, everything gonna be fine. You been in our turf with the videos - everywhere we look, video this, video that, the fuckin videos, Eddie. The fuckin kids, they run around the neighborhood, they copy the fuckin videos, whattayawant? You don't show us no respect, Eddie, you don't give us a fuckin dime."
Eddie interrupted, "I'm in business. I don't pay anybody to sell my v....."
"Eddie, nobody ask you. You don't talk when I'm talkin, Eddie. This business - we tell you. Ya know the guys? Ya know my crew? Richie, c'mere - show Eddie what ya got in your pocket."
Richie walked over to Eddie, pulled out his rope. Tony said, "Eddie .... Eddie - look. We call him "The Rope". When he made his fuckin bones, he did the scumbag with a rope. Took 15 minutes, Eddie - the guy's face looked like a fuckin watermelon. The guy's face was this fuckin big! A fuckin balloon head, Eddie! Then Richie, he drove him down on the Hudson River, tied some concrete blocks on'm, threw the scumbag in the fuckin river, Eddie. The scumbag floated up in fuckin Palisades Park! My crew was all bettin he'd pop up in Newark, right Vinnie? How'd the scumbag swim up the fuckin river? What he do, take a fuckin ferry? The scumbag come up in Palisades Park! I got $10 fuckin grand down on Newark, right? I'm bettin Newark, 'n he come up in Palisades Park? You remember that, Mikey? We shoulda dumped the scumbag in fuckin Secaucas."
Eddie was brave. That didn't intimidate him. He held his ground. "You guys come in here, threatening me? Who do you think you are?"
The whole crew was up, reaching in their jackets, coming out with the MAC10s - .45s. Nine guns in Eddie's face - nine 30 shot clips - 270 rounds. That's enough to ruin anybody's day. Nobody talks to Tony Salami like that and lives long.
Benny asked Eddie, "You sing, Eddie? You wanna learn how to sing? You wanna sing a soprano for me, Eddie?"
Tony said, "Benny, waitaminnit, Benny. You guys, put the fuckin hardware away. We gonna explain this to Eddie. Hey, Carmine! C'mere Carmine - tell Eddie how ya made your fuckin bones."
Carmine looks at Eddie. "Eddie, you like juice?"
Eddie, "What? What's juice?"
Carmine, "Ya know - fuckin juice, Eddie. I like juice - it's my thing, Eddie."
Carmine, "Tony, what the fuck is this? Idiota del deficiente?"
Tony, "All you guys, relax, relax, take it easy. Eddie, he ain't too bright. Tell'm the story, Carm."
Carmine, "Yeah, OK - I work with Nickie'n Frankie. First, they bust up the scumbag with bats, see? Then I pop his eyeballs with the stun gun. Lookit this. I jam this fuckin thing in his eyes, give'm some juice, see? Then his eyes pop. See this one here? It's my new one. Nice, huh? A million fuckin volts. Ya set a house on fire with this one. Burn down the fuckin trees! I did that scumbag in Pittsburgh. One fuckin eye popped out, bounced off the fuckin TV set. You remember, Nickie? I told ya to hit'm in the throat again'n shut him up. Scumbag was makin enough noise to wake up South Philly. I shoved the fuckin juice in there, jammed it in good, fried his fuckin brain. Scumbag's layin there floppin aroun like a fish, Frankie's standin on his fuckin head, Nickie's standin on his fuckin balls. Then I popped the other one, it went in the bathroom. Rolled by the toilet, huh Frankie? Go in, take a fuckin leak, the fuckin eye, it's on the floor - it's lookin at ya. Ya tryin to take a leak, the fuckin thing watchin ya. Hey, how come your face turn white, Eddie? You OK? Ya look a little nervous. Ya nervous, Eddie? Here, have a little wine, calm ya down."
Tony, "Eddie, don't take this personal. It's business. I'm gonna make you an offer, Eddie. Go sit outside while I talk to the guys - Benny, you go sit with him. Here, take your plate, Eddie. Go on, go eat some food. Wazza'matta? You don't look so good, Eddie. Here, eat - it's good for ya. Benny, go feed Eddie some food. He don't eat his food, break all his fuckin fingers. Hahahahahahahaha! Lookit his fuckin face! Hahahahahahahaha! Eddie, ya fuckin kid!"
The crew sat inside talking. They came up with a 50/50 split plan, but Eddie wasn't family, they couldn't trust him. They worked out a good idea: Eddie could sell his videos, but they needed somebody they could trust. Carmine's cousin, Angelo Passavanti, lived in Milwaukee, and he could oversee Eddie's split. Tony got Angelo on the phone and worked out all the details.
Tony, "Eddie! C'mere ya fuckin kid! Nickie, get'm some wine. We got a good deal all worked out for ya. We gonna let you distribute the videos, Eddie. Carmine, Vinnie, get the cars ready. You wanna take a little ride, Eddie? We're goin down to Milwaukee. Hahahahahahahaha! Lookit his fuckin face! Wazza'matta, Eddie? You don't wanna go for a nice one way ride? Hey you guys, lookit his face! Hahahahahahahaha! C'mon Eddie - you gonna sit in front, I'm gonna watch your back! Hahahahahahahaha! Ya fuckin kid! Ya killin me, kid! Ya fuckin killin me! Hahahahahahahaha!"
The crew loaded up Eddie and took off for Milwaukee. Angelo was expecting them. He had a big warehouse down in the commercial district. They pulled all the cars inside to get them off the street. Tony pulled Eddie off to the side, behind the cars. "Eddie, just remember one thing. We're crime. Crime don't pay. You stand right here, Eddie. Don't move til I call ya."
"Angie! Howzitgoin? Howz the family? Good't see ya. Give my best to Marie, Nino, and Little Gino and Vito."
"C'mere Eddie, siddown in this chair. Ya know Eddie here? Mr. Vintonelli, meet Eddie. Eddie, this is Mr. Vintonelli, your new partner. You call him Mr. Vintonelli, Eddie, unnerstan? You gonna show'm a little respect. Mr. Vintonelli gonna do the distribution outa this warehouse."
"I'm gonna tell ya somethin right now, Eddie. Lemme make this clear. The Feds ever come around, talk to you, you rented some warehouse space, Eddie. Mr. Vintonelli's name is Bobby Vintonelli, ya got that, Eddie? Lemme hear ya say it - say "Bobby Vintonelli". Bobby's 79 years old, he's 6 feet tall, and he got one arm, ya unnerstan? Ya don't know nothin else. All ya know ya met Bobby Vintonelli once. Ya paid'm cash for a year rent on this warehouse, see? Ya don't know nothin else."
Tony stood up and laid down the law. "Eddie? I'm gonna explain this to ya once. You ever open your fuckin mouth Eddie, it's all over. It's done. I'm gonna let Nickie do the fuckin paratrooper kid. The kid wear fuckin lipstick, don't he, Eddie? He light on his feet? In the closet, huh? He got his fuckin wings Eddie? You think he gonna fly off a fuckin 10 story building? Huh? Fly like a fairy? My guys gonna hook up that old bag lady on crack. I'm gonna let Vinnie and the guys make the videos. She do anything for a rock, Eddie - anything. We gonna make some real videos with her."
"You open your fuckin mouth, I come back here - personal - cut off your fuckin ears 'n feed'm to ya. The Jolt pops your fuckin eyeballs. Ya unnerstan? You don't know nothin, Eddie. Nothin. Ya don't know nothin, ya don't see nothin, ya don't hear nothin. Them Feds, they give ya a phone call, here's the number you call. You call this guy Mario - Mario take care of everything. You keep your fuckin mouth shut, unnerstan?"
"Lemme see that fuckin catalog, Eddie."
Tony looked over Eddie's catalog. "Eddie? What the fuck? What's this shit? I thought you was sellin videos. Now I seen everything. You gotta tell me - what the fuck is a Poo-Poo-Doggy-Doody-Pouch? Nickie - c'mere. You ever seen a fuckin Poo-Poo-Doggy-Doody-Pouch? Go through this whole fuckin catalog - tell me what we got in here."
"Richie? You and Carmine take Eddie to the bar. Buy'm some drinks. You OK, Eddie? You look a little pale. Go have a drink with the guys, ya feel better. Take it easy - it ain't Henry Hill's bar. You guys - tell Eddie about some hits. Tell'm the one when we buried that scumbag in the fuckin garbage dump. Hahahahahahahaha! He lived for 22 fuckin days, Eddie! Tell'm about that cocksucker we set on fire in Atlantic City. Eddie likes them stories, don't ya? Hahahahahahahaha! You guys! Lookit his fuckin' face! Ya fuckin kid, Eddie! Ya killin me, kid! Ya fuckin killin me! Hahahahahahahaha!"
"Angie, c'mon - let's siddown'n talk."
"Angie, lookit. This scumbag, what we do, we take his inventory, you do the distribution. Yeah, we gonna do a 50/50 on everything. We gonna open up his credit, too, Ang. The fuckin videos, you gonna do em yourself. We get some machines, put em in here, and you cover that. He got some video machines, we gonna bring em down here. Maybe they all break when we move em - I think they gonna fall off the truck. I don't want him havin no machines, see? - none. All this other shit, you hold it here. I'll send the crew up there with some trucks, have everything down here in a few hours. Angie? Whatta you think about the fuckin dogs? We gonna put somebody in his office, keep track of the dogs, watch him real careful. You got anybody? We gotta watch this scumbag, Angie. He steal a fuckin nickel, you send somebody up, shoot out his fuckin knees, OK? Scumbag don't walk too good with no knees, right? Maybe he walk around on his hands. Rendagli un cripple - lascilo camminare sulle sue mani."
"We find somebody to run his computers - hey, I know the right guy! I'll call Stevie in Tampa. He ain't no made man but he's a good friend of mine and the crew. He been bustin Eddie's corragio for years. We do this thing for a few months, then I'm gonna see if the boss wants to bust it out. Whatever you get on his credit, turn it over fast. In the front, out the back - you know how. We gonna drop this one quick, Angie."