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The WFFCW was created August 5, 2001 :: we're 17 YEARS OLD! WFFCW hits since April, 2003

"It's like a nightmare, isn't it?  It just keeps getting worse and worse." .... Keith McCready, in "The Color of Money" "The only vaccine powerful enough to inoculate you from lies is the truth." .... Al Franken, famous author WFFCW Quote Of The Second

WHAT IS THIS WEBSITE ABOUT?  Some of this is a personal website containing REBUTTAL, REPLY, and COMMENT to (primarily) public statements and accusations made by various self proclaimed "internet dog training experts".  The majority of the statements and accusations are FALSE, and refer to me, personally.  The nucleus of this website is based on verbatim quotes of public messages, most of which are archived with their respective lists.  Unless noted, nothing has been altered, other than formatting line length to screen width and changing the font style.  Other parts of this site contain OPINIONS, HUMOR, PARODY, COMEDY, and SARCASM which reflect my own personal sense of humor and viewpoints.  The First Amendment of the Constitution adequately, particularly, and specifically provides these rights.  This site is for educational and entertainment purposes.  This is emphatically not a "hate" site.  There is no hate, and never was.  Profanity is kept to a minimum, but it does exist.  If this website seems offensive to you, in any way, please leave now.  Please do not subject yourself to being offended.

TO THOSE IN FEAR OF THIS WEBSITE:  Websites can be terrifying places.  If you're afraid, we'll never understand why, but what can WE do?  You're allowed to be frightened of webpages, or anything else.  This website contains NO THREATS of any nature - no direct, indirect, implied, supplied, or personified threats - it never did and never will.  There is a lot of SARCASM here.  If you're afraid, our heart goes out to you - we don't WANT you to be afraid.  We want you to get help.  Dial 911, and scream for help.  If you wind up in a straight jacket, that's your problem.  If you don't, that's your problem, too.

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I've lived at the same property since 1982.  This is where I opened my dog training school, built the kennels, the office, and the training room.  In 1982, my street was still a dirt road - it hadn't even been paved yet.  Some might call this "almost country" - it's outside city limits, in the county, and each property in the area is one or more acres.  

This is where the neighborhood pitbulls came to frolic around, shit all over my yard and driveway, dig under my fences, turn over garbage cans, destroy the flowerbeds, and wreck my (then wooden) front door, trying to get at my dogs inside the house.

One day, I tried to be a reasonable, considerate neighbor.  I thought maybe I could converse logically with a redneck.  So I walked down the street to talk to the owner of two of the pitbulls that were making my life a little difficult and progressively destroying my property.  They'd already bitten one of my 6 week old GSD puppies - in my front yard.  The vet bills were around $300.00 at that point.  The drain tubes and sutures wouldn't come out for a month or more.  I didn't go over to demand money for my puppy's injuries - I just wanted to ask him nicely if he could keep his dogs off of my property.  I thought I was being pretty polite and reasonable, but I didn't understand how deep "redneck" goes.

My neighbor knew just how to solve the problem.  Like a good neighbor, he thoughtfully called me "motherfucker", as he explained that I should buy him a chain link fence to keep his dogs in his yard.  I thought that was a great idea, but I couldn't understand why I should buy the fence.  A few weeks went by, Animal Control was called several times, they couldn't get here in time to see the dogs running loose.  They couldn't really do anything, and the problem continued.  I realized that I would probably have to solve the problem myself.  So I did.  Early one morning, one of the pitbulls came by to destroy my front door a little more.  I used a crossbow, and put a bolt (a crossbow arrow) through the dog's head.  It took about a minute to get the bolt out and the dog into a garbage bag.

Within a week, the other pitbull couldn't resist.  He came over and tried to demolish my front door, once and for all.  Well, it was MY front door.  I didn't like that idea at all.  He got two .45s in the head for his woodworking effort.  He died REAL quick.  Another garbage bag.

Months later a new pitbull arrived on the scene.  This one came from a few blocks away - I know, I chased him "home" one day.  "Home" was under an abandoned trailer.  He was a REAL tough pitbull, yessuh!  Came here and climbed over my 4' chainlink fences constantly.  Shit everyplace - 99% tapeworms.  I never saw so many tapeworms in my life.  Chasing him away did nothing - he'd be back in an hour or two or three.  He broke into my screenroom (where the kennels were located) on a few occasions.  I honestly didn't think this was called for, and those replacement screens cost a WHOLE LOT of money.  One day, my dogs erupted, there was some serious insanity happening in the kennels.  I went out, and there he was, fencefighting, and trying to climb over the top of the 6' kennels.  I shot him twice with a 9mm.  This dog was TOUGH - he didn't die.  I emptied the whole 15 round clip into him.  He died then.  Another garbage bag.

The next pitbull was a challenge.  He liked my training field WAY too much, and he liked wrecking screens, too.  He even destroyed - I mean demolished - one of the screen doors into the kennels - another $250.00 down the drain.  One day, I was in my office, and heard a whole lot of insane barking and carrying on from the kennels.  Wow!  It was the new pitbull, breaking through the screen into my kennels.  My 12 gauge was close by.  This one got a load of #0 buck, but that just slowed him down.  He got a rifled slug next.  That did it.  He dropped like a brick.  Another garbage bag.

There were plenty of other stray dogs in the area, too - collie mixes, some bizarre "Rottweiler" (Rockwilder for the rednecks) mixes, a bunch of other mongrels.  Those other dogs seemed to learn - you run 'em off once or twice, smack 'em in the ass, they don't come back.  But the pitbulls were a little hard headed about it.  Kind of stubborn - I think you understand.  They just kept on coming.  They didn't want to learn a thing.

Over the years, this happened a few more times.  It was a real education for me - and maybe for the pitbulls, too.  I'm only guessing, but maybe the pitbull owners around this neighborhood started to learn that stray pitbulls on my property frequently left here in black garbage bags.  I learned that those real heavy duty garbage bags won't tear or puncture, no matter what.  They might cost a little more, but they sure do carry the load.

The education didn't end there.  On many evenings, my training clients and I would walk our dogs around the neighborhood - ON leashes, naturally.  I remember one occasion when a pitbull appeared out of nowhere - just like a flash.  Wow - what a big surprise!  I had no gun.  But I did have an ASP police baton - so the pitbull, while mutilating my client's dog, got a real bad spinal injury.  Then he got a broken skull.  My clients (actually, I mean my client's feet) were highly offended by the pitbull's antisocial behavior.  They stomped that dog into a pancake - well, pretty close, anyway.  The redneck owner came flying down the street - he was real, REAL upset.  He got super messy, holding his pitbull - he called the dog "Razorblade".  "Razorblade" couldn't hear him, though - he'd already left for that great dogfight in the sky.  Pretty soon, the deputies showed up.  That part was pretty cool - they thanked us for taking care of the problem (so they didn't have to do all the paperwork), and cuffed the pitbull's owner.  One deputy kindly took my client (she was completely freaked out and terrified) and her 7 month old blood-soaked dog (a female - either a Sheltie or a Border Collie, I don't remember) to the nearest emergency vet.  The other deputies explained how we could all file civil lawsuits, and gave us the phone number to file more criminal charges with the State Attorney if we wanted to.  Damn!  What a crazy way to meet your neighbors.

You know what's REALLY strange?  The pitbull owners didn't ever think they were doing anything wrong - everything was somebody else's fault.  We were to blame - felony walking-around-with-our-dogs-on-leashes.  Walking down a public street, minding our own business, you know?  20 year prison sentence stuff.

I liked The Old Man With The Killer Chow.  This dog never came out of the fenced yard.  He just went insane if you walked past him - especially if you walked past him with a dog.  Most of the time, I just ignored him, one day I got curious.  I had a big can of mace or whatever it's called, so I gave him a squirt.  I guess he liked it, cause he went berserk, and bit the chainlink REAL good.  Bent the shit out of it!  He was feeling so tough, he hooked his teeth in the fence.  I emptied the spray can in his face and mouth.  All of a sudden, he got real distracted, and ran back over to the house.  The old man came over and thanked us all.  I think the old fella would have worked on the problem himself, if he'd just known how.  For years afterward, he'd always come out and talk to us.  Sometimes, he'd walk around with us for awhile, and I'd give him my dog's leash.  He really liked that.  He was a very, very nice old man.   

Mr. Real Tough Redneck was located about 4 blocks away.  Mr. Redneck had 2 pitbulls.  They ran the fence, and sometimes jumped over the fence, into the street.  What great entertainment!  Mr. Redneck drank his Budweisers (the yard was littered with empty cans) and happily watched, (as any responsible dog owner would (not) do), when the cars slammed on brakes, swerved to avoid the dogs, and children went running home in fear.  Yessuh!  Prime Time Entertainment. 

One day, Mr. Redneck threatened 4 of my clients and me.  He let us know that if his dog came over the fence and we DID anything to the dog, he was gonna shoot us!  Yessuh!  Blow our asses away!  He pointed to the shotgun on his porch, then he actually picked it up.  I bet it was pretty surprising for Mr. Redneck when we scattered, got behind cover, downed our dogs, and came up with guns - pointing directly in his face - including 2 with lasers.  What a surprise!  How could Mr. Redneck know that 2 of the women were off duty policewomen?  Even after identifying herself as a police officer, he refused to lay the gun down as she ordered.  One quick call on her cell phone - bingo - the whole street was swarming with sheriff's cars, and they just kept coming.  (You ever want to see a street light up with cops?  "Officer needs assistance - GUN" will start the show.) 

I bet it was even more surprising when the deputies dragged Mr. Redneck's ass out of his yard in handcuffs.  Poor Mr. Redneck was having a little trouble walking.  That's because the officers had to drag him out by his feet - he repeatedly threw himself down on the ground.  But he REALLY showed 'em!  He wasn't cooperating with NOTHIN' and NO-BODY!  He knew his Gawddamn God Given Rights!  He was gonna have their BADGES!  He knew the Sheriff personally!  Yessuh!  PERSONALLY!   

Boy, what a shock for Mr. Redneck - 4 felony charges and several misdemeanors.  Wow - what a surprise.  Wow - what a traffic jam.  The good part is, the pitbulls didn't come out of the yard.  If they had, I believe about 20 cops would have instantly opened fire on them.  No garbage bags necessary. 

This page probably makes me sound like a real CRUEL, INHUMANE kind of guy.  The funny thing is, all my pitbull training clients didn't think so.  Neither did the other ~1000 clients.  They thought I was a kind, caring, considerate, fellow dog lover.  They really liked training with me - even though I'd never own a pitbull.  Sometimes, while we were wandering around the neighborhood, they kicked the shit out of some stray pitbulls, too.  I know they understood that I basically liked ALL dogs, including pitbulls - and their owners, too.  UP TO A POINT - BEFORE they cross over the line. 

I learned a whole lot of people aren't ready to sacrifice their dogs to some mangy, fleabag dog fighting strays.  Probably a bunch of people feel their dogs are important members of their family and their life - and they're not about to stand by, watching their own family get mangled beyond repair.  It only takes a few seconds. 

It's a strange world we live in, isn't it?  It proves once again - it's always the owners - it's not the dogs at all.

REDNECKS AND PITBULLS - COMING TO A STREET NEAR YOU!

ps: I'm ANTI BSL .... I'm PRO responsible dog owners