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total sl-prokeys hits since April, 2003

On Thursday, August 21, 2003, at 2:45pm, my wife of 34 years, Rebecca, died in my arms in an emergency room.

The last words we spoke were in perfect synchronization: "I love you with all my heart."



On Safari With Eddie Floyd

if your ears can't hear "richard pryor", this is the wrong page for you

After the Gibson show, I thought about somethin' that I been holdin' onto for over thirty years.  I was standin' aroun' with these two very well known R&B rascals - William Bell and Eddie Floyd - and I figured ..... maybe now's a good time to tell MY side of the story ....

.... 'bout the first time Eddie took me out quail hunting, way, way out in the country.  It was 1969, 'n we rode out there in Eddie's big blue Cadillac limousine.  Eddie, 'n Castro, 'n me.  

First of all, I came from New York, see?, so I never actually really seen any "country" before, 'cept maybe on TV. 

Eddie gave me a shotgun, show me how to load it, 'n how to hold it, 'n off we go.  I never seen one of them before neither, 'n here I am, walking aroun' with one in my hands! 

Damn thing started out light, but it sho' got heavy after awhile.

We walk 'n we walk 'n we walk.  Eddie keep sayin', "Sandy, you ready?"  I keep sayin', "Sure."  So then we walk some more.  "Sandy, you ready?"  "Sure."  We walkin', 'n walkin', 'n bein' real quiet.  "Sandy, you ready?"  "Sure." 

Man, I was ready four hours ago. 

Now I was a little nervous, see?  'Cause we was in this grass way up past my waist.  I didn't even know what was down there, all by my feets, see? 

Well, maybe that grass wasn't high enough, 'cause now Eddie want to go walk in some sho'nuff deep grass. 

"Sandy, you ready?"  "Sure."  We musta walked 116 miles.  We coulda been two states away - 'n I never woulda known.  "Sandy, you ready?"  I'm still sayin', "Sure."

Then - all of a sudden - Raise Your Hand AND Knock On Wood ....

THAT'S when it happen.

THAT'S when they come UP!

No, no, no - not just some of 'em -

1,000?  10,000?  100,000?

Shit - how 'n the hell would I know?

Far as I know, we talkin' 'bout every Goddamn quails in the state o' Tennessee!

They ALL come up - ALL AT ONCE!  'N they invited everybody!  'N they was flyin' aroun' all crazy!

It was an INVASION!

Well, I gots scared - I never seen a shotgun before OR a quail.  Much noise as these quails was makin', they coulda weighed 88 pounds each, see?  Them quails sounded just like flyin' Harleys.  Why they call 'em quails?

I dropped the shotgun, and I fell down.  I fell down on my ass.  Yessuh, that's exactly what I did.  Maybe I be a smaller target that way.  I musta rolled away some, too.  I throwed my arms up - up over my face, see?  'Cause my eyes was gonna be the very LAST thing to go.

Eddie 'n Castro was over there somewhere, bustin' up a gut, laughin'.  They was cryin'.  They was chokin'!  They thought this shit was funny.

I could hear 'em OK, but I couldn't see 'em, 'cause I'm crawlin' aroun' all down in heah, lookin' for the Goddamn shotgun, grass 8' over my head.  I'm in heah, prayin' t' GOD that don't no snakes lives in Tennessee - or any other state nearby - 'cause I gets my dumb ass killed out heah, some snake come ease up on me in all them weeds 'n shit. 

Took 30 minutes t' find the shotgun, this grass never been mowed since maybe 1921.  I near 'bout peed my pants - 'n my eyes was bigger 'n Eddie's limo hubcaps.

Please Lawd, just get me outa this in one piece, an' I swear - I get outa the next three all by myself.  Ain't nobody told me nothin' 'bout none 'o this.  How was I supposed to know?  I'm just lucky they didn't have to carry my dumb ass outa there. 

My heart didn't stop poundin' 'til we got back inside Memphis city limits.   

And these two jokers, Eddie and William, standin' there, laughin' hysterically at me.  You see what I gotta put up with?

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